How could it have taken 22 years to find what I was truly looking for? Why did it take so long? Why had I spent my life chasing things that never satisfied me? What was wrong?
I have always been, and always will be, the type of person that will do whatever it takes to accomplish what I want. The only problem has been that the accomplishments or success would never satisfy me. I couldn't find anything that could fill what was empty. The only thing that ever crossed my mind was success. Not only in team sports, but in games such as Age of Empires, ping-pong, and NBA Live. It's what I now call an addiction to success. I couldn't and still can't stand doing something worse than someone else. All of those traits are great and I'm still the same way. But why was it when I reached a goal, I still felt empty?
For a long time in my life, I thought it was because I had no direction. Now though, I have direction and know what I want to pursue in my future! How am I still empty at times?
It's because I've realized that God is the only thing that can fill the void in me. I can go 4-4 in a baseball game, but it does not satisfy me like the worship songs on Sunday morning do. I'll be the first person to say that it sounds crazy, but it's true. The peace, relaxation, and comfort that I feel during a song on Sunday morning is the only thing on this entire world that satisfies me.
It must be because those moments are when I feel like I'm in complete connection with God. I know I cannot be the only person who has this need. We all go after things in this world to satisfy us. We go after alcohol, fame, and money as if it will fill us. Yes, those things will undoubtedly be a lot of fun, but will they make you happy for the rest of your life?
Everyone has this void in some way. Maybe it feels different to you than it did me, but you have it. People will spend countless hours and amounts of money in hopes of getting what they want to fill their emptiness. Unfortunately, it takes most of us decades to figure out that we are searching for something that is easy to find. The presence of God!
